Can I save my marriage?

[Lll54]

Im in need of desperate help. You were all right. Found out last night there was OW. Supposedly its over now. But who knows. I heard this from a friend whos ex works with H. She doesnt know he it was just emotional and hanging out and flirting or if it got physical. She just knew there was something going on. I am devastated and at a loss for words. The man just moved home and I find this out. Now what?

[Super Girl]

(((Britt)))

I wish I knew how to help you. I guess I'd start by asking him, although, he probably won't be truthful. I'm not sure that hearing it from someone who heard it from someone is all that reliable.

[Lll54]

To top it all off he was on shift last night and drove by the house at three am and saw lights on so he came in to see what was going on and I was getting ready for bed. He asked why I was up at that time of night and I told him I went out to the bar. He got mad, called me a barstar and walked out and went back to work. So H can have ties to OW, but I am not even allowed to go to the bar?

[Gnosis]

You DON'T ask him. And it's NOT over.

[Super Girl]

Okay, so I was wrong on the asking, but I agree with Gno. It's not over.

[motherof3]

G,

Stupid question. Why not ask him? Because there is no concrete proof and he will just deny it?

[Super Girl]

He would deny it even IF there was concrete proof.

[Gnosis]

And one more thing Britt ... (((( HUGS )))) I know that this is a shock for you. No matter how much you think you're prepared for it, you never are. With that in mind your next steps are:

- Be strong.
- Calm down.
- Wait for the anger to pass.
- Don't be in a hurry to act.

You've decided to go the quiet route that Gucci recommended because that's your style. (Quiet is not something I'm a fan of when it comes to affairs)

[Gnosis]

motherof3, what SG said.

Cheaters LIE. Asking him makes you look needy, whiny and weak.

[Lll54]

Yes. I agree my first instinct is to ask him as soon as he wakes up.