Do you still find your wife attractive? I wonder if part of your resistance here is that you fear it may be possible to turn this SSM around, but you're not actually sure that you want to.
Yes, she's in great shape. She's into all kinds of aerobic sports, and not just a little. I think some of it is to make up for what she's missing. It's yet another thing that keeps her so busy she "doesn't have time for things like sex." But I'm not complaining about the results.
But it's an interesting question because after so many years of 100% rejection, I don't have this immediate reaction of sexual attraction to her anymore, which has made it easier to avoid pressuring her for sex.. But with my HD mindset, it wouldn't take much on her part to change that.
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Years of rejection can't be gold for your feelings of attraction and intimacy for each other?
Exactly right. We have this sort of physical wall between us. We don't really cuddle or do anything that makes us face that borderline we can't cross. It's more comfortable to keep a distance as if we're only friends. Every time we've (or at least I) have tried to get a little closer physically, she turns away, which brings up bad feelings in both of us. The usual. It's perfectly described in Michelle's SSM book.
