Hey YR (mom)

Struggling this weekend...cant seem to push H out of my Head...i posted on my thread as to what I was dealing with today..

I have a few questions for you...when H and I first got married he went through a big depression...was afraid he wouldnt be able to take care of me the way he wanted. blah, blah, blah..
Whiled going through this I stood by his side, watched him stare at walls, lay in bed, while I would tell him all the time how much I loved him...

His mom actually sat with us one day while I was crying and told my H that maybe we were too young to get married, (even though we already were)...that maybe we should get divorced and maybe try again later...that has stuck with me forever...

H has a brother who is a drug addict, always in jail, he really is a sweet, loveable person, just caught up in trying to live up to his brother (my H) and what he has accomplished..H's mom would always say in front of the brother, "look at your brother, why can't you be like him"..of course she didn't know H was sleeping around and that she actually had ANOTHER grandson who was 10....I think this got to H...don't you? I think it finally hit a head and he snapped...

H seems to be able to bury everything, even us, he told me he was calased to all my crying and just plain old me...said I am what he always thought I was, said that in anger, and I cant get it out of my head....WHAT DID I DO? you mean he hated me that bad? I know its the past and what they say means nothing but wow, it hits deep...I want to let it all go, I just don't seem able to do so....I even had a dream about H....and we were kissing and having fun....when I woke it was like it was real....but then I noticed that I was alone and it was all a dream...


Treese

Last edited by Treese; 12/06/09 02:52 PM.
Treese

H 49
M 45
D 23, D17, S12
M 25 T 31
01/07 OW H at my door w/proof
Bomb ILYBINILWY 06/07
Sep 01/08 headed for the greener grass,
Mar08.B#2H has child who is 9
11/08 pos.paternity