Let's make this very clear--I am not your therapist. I'm just a guy who used to be deeply unhappy in a sex-starved marriage, came here for help, and now I offer my experience for what it's worth. I'm neither trained as a therapist nor pretending to be trained as a therapist. I don't offer therapy.
I'm going by this:
Quote:
But I'm not sure how to extricate myself from that flypaper without actually just declaring OK, enough of this, I'm going ahead and filing for divorce, and will stop the process ONLY if you come up with an believable response or a more concrete promise. Is that what it takes? I hate doing that, and she knows it. Because it means I would actually have to go through with it, and that it would be a likely possibility.
I guess that's what you're saying. And I hate dropping that nuke. If you call that being a coward, I'll admit it. That's a tough one.
Walking makes an important point. Even the idea of "fixing" the marriage to your satisfaction was scary to me. I mean, say she makes all the changes and now she really wants to show her love and make love and all the rest . . . what if I don't measure up? What if it was my inadequacy that *really* drove her to frigidity in the first place? What if *I* can't live up to *her* newfound dedication to the marriage? But screw all that and do it anyway.
