If comments like this have already been made over the years to try to bully/shame a response, then yes that is passive-agressive.
The comments I've made have in this regard have been more careful. For example, while with a group of friends or relatives, my wife might talk about all the things she wants to do on vacation, and I make a joke about how we need to reserve time for just having unscheduled time back at the motel room. In front of everyone else, she has no choice but to agree. It's kind of lighthearted in that sense, and everybody thinks it's funny, because they know I've always been HD. And everyone else's reactions help reinforce to her that this is a normal and expected activity. When you've had ND for a long time it seems you can lose perspective that sex has any purpose. Hence my wife's comment years ago when we were barely sexual on a romantic vacation, "What? You want to have sex again? We had it just two days ago!" She genuinely did not understand why anybody would want to have it again after 48 hours. She also informed me around that time that it's normal for people our age to have sex about once a week, as if that should make that frequency OK for me.
We also have an HD couple we're friends with who are comfortable telling us all kinds of cool stuff. For example, his wife, who's the higher HD, said that when they were on vacation, she jumped him as soon as they got into the motel room and went at it so long they barely made dinner before it closed. They had to run down without even freshening up. Well, it was funny the way they told it. But it was good for my wife to hear it. I could see it got her thinking. If I had told her a story like that second hand, she would have assumed I was greatly exaggerating because I had an agenda.
I think this approach has helped her accept that it's normal to want to have a lot of sex. It just hasn't totally succeeded yet!
