She must be seeing a lawyer...what now?

[Awoken]

Today things were different between me and W, and it does seems like our talk has led things in a different direction. Only time will tell.

We've had almost no real communication other than confrontations over the past 4 weeks. Today I left the house for a long walk in the park (it's cold!), and after a few hours W texted me to see if I was ok, and asked if I wanted to have dinner with the family and catch up on episodes of Glee (D17's favorite show). I waited a while before responding and said "thanks, I'm ok. I'd enjoy that".

I came home, and W sat down to talk about D17's progress in school, and her upcoming trip to Seattle. She broke down in tears and told me she was glad I talked to her yesterday and she really misses me "her friend". We had some dinner and watched several episodes of the show with the kids. Between episodes, W would break down into tears and give me long hugs (away from the kids). I managed to stay calm, and just told her I was sorry she was hurting. When she wanted to talk specifically about the R or D, I just excused myself politely.

When we retreated to our respective bedrooms, she gave me another long hug and said "I still love you ...... I'm just sorry it's not enough". That stung a lot, but I didn't react. I told her I love her too, and then said I was tired and needed to go to bed.

I wonder if this is better than the mostly NC I was doing before. I need to go back and read more about dropping the rope, and make sure I'm not pursuing.