Silly - I agree with what you are saying about the shaming comments. I had a hard time writing it in the way I meant it.
If comments like this have already been made over the years to try to bully/shame a response, then yes that is passive-agressive.
But if the husband had never "dared" to open his mouth in public about their issues before, if he had "gone along" when the wife made it seem outwardly like things were "just fine" in the sex department...then one strategically placed comment that would shake her feathers up would be a potential ice breaker to those longer conversations about the ssm. If he shocked her a little bit with ONE comment that was meant to shove the cart ahead again, then it could be useful.
But as you said...snide comments along the way with no real meaning behind them is just passive agressive.
