In these 2 months I have completely cut any relationship talk or any suspicions I have - I never called him and he started to call once a week - this week is the first time he hasn't - wonder why grin I cut all angry / emotional outbursts and any disrespectful judgements.
I sent him an email every week with the spending of the previous week to keep him in the loop and to show I wasn't spending a lot again. I loved it when he called and I know he called to talk to me and not the kids in that moment - the conversations were relaxed and we even started to laugh with each other a little again. And now this frown

And yes I would be hurt but he is the one who can tun it around and come home – it’s not rocket science.

I can’t ask him about the password – he doesn’t even know that I know the email address and yes I need to know – I need to know it for my own sanity – guessing is not enough anymore.
I need to know what was so important to him that he broke up our family and I need to know why he is not together with the woman anymore he broke our family up for.
I have a million and one question and I need this to stop.