Still in the tunnel with hubby

[kjensen]

Thanks Grace and Addie. I haven't given up hope.

Things are definitely odd with H. Last night we went to see D14 in a band parade and there was a message on the voicemail from H's credit card company wanting to verify a check written off his account to prevent fraud. H said erase the message that he knew what it was about... He said he'd written the check and I asked to whom and he got mysterious and said he couldn't tell me.(Like it was a Christmas thing).

Later I asked him directly if he had retained a lawyer and he admitted 'Yes, that was what the check was for'-he didn't know how to tell me. He'd signed up with the lawyer and paid a retainer on the day he said he was moving out and wanted a divorce so that he couldn't be talked out of it.

Then unfortunately we had a bit of a row and H started yelling.
We settled down and within a half an hor H was showing me the youtube mashup of Tiger Wood's voicemail message to his mistress-saying how funny (I think sad) it was..then we checked out some other websites/videos that H wanted to share(he calls them his guilty pleasure)..acting alot like a teenager.

Then to bed. H said he'd miss being close to me-joked that maybe we could get together once a year for a week and never leave the bedroom....ML then and again in the morning.

Then he started packing and was in a fog-hadn't planned on what he'd take, didn't realize how much stuff he had..hadn't thought it out.

So I went shopping. H is at work and hasn't come back for his second load of stuff yet...we haven't talked about logistics of anything-its all just by the seat of his pants.

I'm sad but trying to focus elsewhere. Its a hard day though.