WAW in affair. Help!

[Norm914]

I like this idea! I wouldn't leave the cellphone bills with her, tho. Tell her you think it's best that the illicit couple NOT know what evidence you guys hold, but you felt she should not be the only one of the 4 involved to NOT know what's going on, so that she could make whatever decisions are best for her and her family.

Hopefully, she'll use those records as the 'probable cause' to hire a P.I.

Puppy

I’ve been thinking about it all day and I think this is my best route. I figure I can wait and watch for weeks trying to catch them, and still may not succeed. Or, I can let OM”s wife’s money, and probably the best P.I. in town, do all the work for me. And, the evidence will probably be better than anything I could get. Plus, having OM’s spouse in on this will help insure that when the A is over, it’s over for good.

She’s very successful and she didn’t succeed by being stupid. I’m sure I can convince her of the futility of making an accusation based the phone bills alone. It also occurred to me that she may have a gut feeling and/or suspicions of her own -- that “there’s something wrong but I can’t put my finger on it” feeling that I had. She and OM have been together for 23 years. She knows that man. I know from reading this board and other websites that the cheating spouse’s behavior toward his/her spouse always changes in some way.

I also like this strategy because I don’t have to bring anyone else in on this A. When it’s over my W will have two choices: come home and work with me to restore our marriage and no one will ever know, or, continue down the path of divorce and everyone will know. I pretty sure I know what her choice will be. The fact that OM is married is particularly damning. Friends and family would be shocked and disappointed. If he were single, W could say, “Well, our M was as good as over anyway and I was moving on” and save some face. But that ain’t the case.

I’ll continue to think about this over the weekend.