Karen, I thank you for the compliment. I really appreciate it.
I believe my xW, like so many of us, does not think that far ahead. Even though she likes to portray herself as this super-organized, put-together sort of person. The reality is that long term thinking for her is myopic because she is so focused on herself and not the big picture.
More to the point, she couldn't possibly be thinking about eternity, most especially, given her words and deeds.
I failed to mention some of the arguments xW tried to use on me when it came to me attempting to discipline S8 -- tactics you might especially take note of, Karen -- she played the Asperger's card on me, saying that S8 could not walk to school (like so many other of his schoolmates) because he's "Autistic".
When she said (wrote) that I was again taken back and wanted to respond to that point. But I let it pass because it was a cheeseless tunnel -- if she wants to continue to mischaracterize her own son with a blanket term that stereotypes him as a helpless invalid, when he most certainly is not, I don't know what I can really do to counteract that thinking. It makes me cringe, and it makes me feel so bad for S8 that his own mother sets his goals so low in her own mind.
Our son is taking exams this week to survey the possibility he might be gifted in one or more areas, especially math, and yet his mother seems to want to treat him like an incompetent infant. He hikes with me at least two or miles through the woods every other week, and yet he is too young to walk just once to his school about 8 tenths of a miles away.
It has had me thinking that all of these squabbles with xW over the care and raising of our S's would likely have led to our D anyway, even if she hadn't been unfaithful and cheated on me. But then I think at least half of the differences between us concerning our children stems from an unwillingness on her part to try to compromise or to respect my thoughts and feelings anymore -- and that in turn stems from her defiant unrepentance and chosen mindset as a home-wrecking adulterer and the subconscious guilt that is eating at her. Perhaps as a real, committed H & W we could have compromised more and been more satisfied with the results. IDK.
But maybe I am really just touching on a chicken and egg conundrum.
...
Well, I just got a response back from xW this morning. I gave her a couple of compromise counter-offers, and it looks like she's willing to go with one of them. This one would change the Christmas Eve custody exchange time from 6 PM to 9 PM, which is what I had wanted all along, but xW had originally objected. Now she sees the light -- only now.
