I have also became emotionaly attached to the girl I went out with back in early Oct. So I have kept my encounters with her apart. Like seeing each other every few weeks and only call a day before we meet up again. Mind you I have used these feelings to help myself heal from the effects of the affair and to build my self esteem. I am not going to enact on these feelings. As I enjoy our friendship. Its the oldest friendship I have outside of my immediate family. Sometimes when were together I think that she is struggling with the same feelings. But this is not the time for such things.
Be careful, here. But you know that.
Originally Posted By: cutterbug
Hugs and the random contacts of hands touching and other rubbing that happens when doing stuff all the time. I find I miss that contact the most. As WAS and I always were touching each other that way through out our marriage up to July. The hand rubbing on the arm. That was always enjoyable. We always smiled when that happened.
Yep. Yep.
Originally Posted By: cutterbug
I know I sound like I am in a bad spot right now but I am not. Reflection can be worth while. I am not cycling. Actually I do not know what exactly I am feeling tonight. But I just needed to reach out. And right now this place is where I feel safe. Guess I am dealing with some waves.
I don't think anyone on here would read this and think you're in a bad spot or cycling.
I, for one, understand exactly where you're coming from.
Last edited by Gardener; 11/30/0902:04 AM.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Cutter, just letting you know I'm still around and agree with this 100%
Quote:
Reflection can be worthwhile.
I'm kind of doing or going through the process of it on my own thread.
I read that. You will not get any 2x4's from me. I keep mine for a few people here who need them in a big way. Take Care and thanks again for dropping in.
Well Cutter DB's and GAL'd really well this week. I had a fantastic week.
I removed those extra feelings I had for my festival friend and just enjoyed her company as friend this week.
Which worked out great.
Did a little GAL on the MIL and FIL. Went over there to pick up some stuff before my date last night. New hair cut and dressed like a million bucks. I was asked what I was up to. So I said going out to dinner and then to the hockey game with festival friend. I did not add the word friend around her name at all. Had the camera so I am going to do a little Fbook fun with it as well and post some picutes of that date to go along with the festival pictures from a few months earlier.
Other than that. Everything is silent minus the new speakers. Working away and hoping the winter is gone quickly.
Did a ton of reflection this week but it was good to work through it and carry on.
I hope everyone else had a good week.
I would say last week was the best week I have had in a very long time.
From beginning to end. It was just a fantastic week. DB'ing life and GAL are powerful stuff.
I had a fairly relatively good week this week, too. Monday and Friday I was a mess, but T/W/Th almost felt like almost normal. Almost felt some detaching coming in. Everytime I thought about X and OW, I was able to counter with--I don't really have to think about that. I don't really have to care what they are doing right now.
Definitely a roller coaster, but maybe some hope the roller coaster is smoothing out?
Books, cutter: I have bought just about everything recommended on the boards. Unfortunately, as we know one of the symptoms of anxiety/depression is the inability to concentrate, I haven't made much progress on reading.
Uncoupling: Is REALLY hard and painful to read. I can't do it yet.
Mars and Venus Starting Over: well, you are asking for goal sort of books, so that doesn't help.
I, too, could use a book that was more forward looking, goals, less about the "pain of separation." I have those; just have to read them!
I have found reading adventure/overcoming adversity stories are always good. Arctic explorers, marathon runners, sea-faring adventures. Takes me out of my world and get to think about people achieving great things.
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
Purpose Driven Life? Or maybe a biography on an athlete (you're a runner?) There's always the Bible.
I like Co-Dependent No More. It really helps you look at your own chitt.
Feel the Fear, Do it Anyway (more for girls)
KerryK has one he recommends to the guys, Hold on To your Nuts, or something like that. One of the fellers can correct me on that.
5 Love Languages, of course. Helps you in communicating with anyone you care about, not just Spouse.
7 Habits, Steven Covey
I'm sure others will have even more to suggest. My good friend reminded me last week, that recommending books is like telling someone, "Here, take this medicine. It fixed my 'fill in the blank for your disease here'." Just like medicine, every body responds differently and at different dosages. Or sometimes you are allergic to certain medication. My toxic friends are trying to get me to read a book (I read it several years ago) that impedes my PMA and GAL. So, I've said, "Thanks, I've read it and I'm glad you enjoyed it too."
Enjoy your day, Cutter. Keep up the NC, and your PMA.
Me:44, WAW hx bi-polar H:48, hx of abuse S:22, S:19, D:16 Filed Oct 08, dismissed Filed again Jan 10, dismissed Now Piecing alter persona: SuperBoots
Lives with OP 4 days a week ( rented 5 bedroom house )and then when his 3 children come over she lives elsewhere for 3 days ( parents).
When I heard that , all I could think about was how far ladybug has fallen from the person I knew who was a strong independent woman. What a sad living existance this is. Pity perhaps? No anger. It did not bother me finding out this info. When I was told by my friend. I just said those words to him. And left it at that. I think he said it as a warning that ladybug is around a few days a week. So I do not leave stuff out and about.
Perhaps it is just another nail in the coffin.
Other stuff.
Old cutter was hit on saturday night. Cutter did what any warm blooded male would do. When approaced and talked to... I answered some initial conversation back with a smile and then went.... RETREAT. For the rest of the night Cutter was circled by the lioness , but cutter remained strong and acted like a 14 year old boy. Shy and smiled and ignored... Girls have koodies...
