I think I am moving into: it is over. R is over. Move on, build myself. Find those single gal pals that pearlharbr recommended. Accept the situation as it is.
The Buddhist take is: pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
Suffering is fighting against the sitch you find yourself in. It's the "I don't want it to be this way! no!" instead of embracing the suck, as Puppy says.
So I am working on: it is what it is. I accept it. I don't like it, but I accept it.
The big step I still have to really accept is that I want to go on with life. The pain is so great that I really would prefer to just drop dead. So it is a lot of mental work to try and believe everyone who tells me it will get better, and I will eventually be glad I didn't just drop dead.
Keep riding the roller coaster, I guess.
Me: 44 Him: 42 Together: 23 years; never married Bomb: August 1, 2009 Affair since May 2009 Walk away; no conversation; no process
