And, as long as I'm doing it for me, with no expectation,
That's what drives cats crazy. Tease em and then ignore em - OMG it's torture to them. They have to pounce after a while, it's what they do.
I could do with a good pounce at this point. He!!, any pounce would be nice.
Keep letting her know you want her but don't need her.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
And, as long as I'm doing it for me, with no expectation,
That's what drives cats crazy. Tease em and then ignore em - OMG it's torture to them. They have to pounce after a while, it's what they do.
I could do with a good pounce at this point. He!!, any pounce would be nice.
Keep letting her know you want her but don't need her.
Got it. And I think I am doing that. I think early on, she interpreted a lot of my pulling back a la LRT as me not caring about her. I have since told her that is not the case.
Update. Had my work holiday party. W had planned to attend, but she had some deliverables for her job that were due yesterday, and those went late (not her fault), so she could not make the party. She apologized a few times last night about not being able to get herself organized enough to make the party. I repeatedly told her it was ok and I understood - and that was the truth.
The party was fun, more fun than I expected. I hung out with many of my friends and their respective spouses/SO's. Spoke with my clients who came.
And, it didn't occur to me until driving home that despite the fact my W wasn't with me at the party, I never felt alone. In fact, it didn't really occur to me that I didn't have a "date" for the party while I was there.
So, on some level, I think I am continuing to make progress in being comfortable being alone - being alone, but not lonely. Admittedly, I am concerned (scared?) of becoming more comfortable being without W. But, on a purely selfish level, I realize it is a consequence of becoming more independent, which is healthy, and will make me a better person - one capable of being a great catch for someone (might be W, might not). And, even if there isn't another someone anytime soon, that works too.
It's hard to be make attempts to attract a spouse when you're at this point isn't it? (wasn't it you that said you're tired of auditioning for the rold of your wife's husband?...I love that line!)
What kinds of things are you doing be W-nip?
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
He!!, any pounce would be nice. 