First time poster feeling a bit lost

[MT21]

Hello Sandii.

Thank you for your reply.

My view hasnt changed, I am intent in sorting myself out and doing a lot more for myself.
I have always been accused in all areas of my life as putting other people first, this includes my wife. And strangely up until now thought that I had always been there for her.

She is confused in as much as she knows it doesnt feel right, I am not saying that her emotions/gut feeling is incorrect but it its not straight either.

She desperately wants an other promotion in work, she sees it as her way to provide financial security for the children, but more importantly to give her the feeling of success and independence. She has something to prove to herself.

Its like the order of merit is "Do - Have - Be" we have lots of materialistic things and have lived like this for a while.

I plan to change myself and my life to "Be - Do - Have".

I have a new found energy that I dont plan to waste.

I agree she is vulnerable for an A but I truly believe that she has no capacity right now for any additional complications. She is not in an A right now.

In someways I actually feel sorry for her right now.

Dating, that is no no for me, My moral code wont allow me to do that and I am still committed to my wife and marriage.
I havent worn my wedding ring for a few years. My fingers were too big.. No other reason.

I may start wearing it again. If I can fit it. That may inflame the situation with her so I may be cautious for now.

I am still uncertain if I can invent some Pseudo jealousy, but I do support your opinion that it could be very effective.

After our talk yesterday, I have a lot more clarity.
I am looking forward to our dinner date this evening and I plan to have fun.

Speak soon

MT