You are right - she will have to make changes too. We have to stop being doormats and trying to please them. We are where we are because of two people, and the solution also resides with two.
I've been thinking of what I can say to help you right now. I know this is the hardest time yet - I was there eight months ago. Remembering how devastated and upset and confused I was = I feel for you now.
My only advice is to reread Divorce REmedy. This is probably the best book I can recommend we read right now. I was thinking of you when reading the part on LRT - all that stuff about focusing on yourself and giving the impression that you are moving on and how that can change a WAS spouse from blaming the LBS to being left alone to own all their feelings - not just anger and dissatisfaction, but lonliness, fear, doubt, etc.
I am rereading it because my H and I are starting a new phase - we are getting legally separated, which only is a piece of paper but is huge for me emotionally. ON the practical front, we're starting MC so I'm looking for guidance on how to proceed given this is probabaly my last chance to save the M.
Why not get a copy and we can go through it together and get on track?
Hoping you are ok, and thinking positive thoughts for you and your son (he's the same age as mine).
