If there is one thing I have learned over the past year and a half, is that you have to let go and move on before anything will ever work out.
I have run this cycle of detaching for a while and having my H throw a small bit of bait out for me and then I get reeled back in and he totally backs off until I detach again and he get's scared and so on and so on.
It has not been until I have totally let go and said to myself and believed that I will be fine without the marriage if that's what happens. Otherwise they know we are desperate and they hold all the cards.
I know it is hard, but you can't get hung up on her every word or small action that indicates that she might want to work it out. You have to stay detached, work on yourself, and keep going out and having fun (maybe minus the alcohol since it seems to not go well). If/when she changes her actions significantly and makes solid motions towars your marriage, then you can work on the R. First work on you and focus on the kids.
Sorry to hear about the job. That is no fun, but maybe a wonderful new opportunity will present itself. Are you still going to school? It seems like you said something about that a while back.
