If WAW's wake up realization happens much beyond the D and she is still with OM, I don't believe I can keep DBing by then.
I am astounded how many great people (M and W) I have met while GALing. So now, I believe when I will be ready if a D happens, I will be able to find many W friends and when the time comes, a companion.
I have my S4 and S7 the entire Christmas week - she chose to have them at Thanksgiving. WAW will be very lonely with OM while we fill our house with love and laughter. I pray the wake up begins then, if it hasn't before.
I appreciate you bringing up emotional abuse. I did a lot of asking WAW when she was here about specifics, soul searching and relating these episodes to my counselor (who earlier met once with WAW). There were few specific episodes that she could name. The ones she mentioned I related to my counselor. The counselor scoffed at all of them. Counselor characterized them as not great but not emotional abuse.
Related to emotional abuse, WAW started an "always mad" mantra for the last month she was in the house. When we last spoke (about getting L's), I kindly told WAW the boys and are going to cut a Christmas tree in the forest this Sat and invited her to come. I said we could even get two-one for WAW's apt and one for our home. WAW said no because "I was mad the whole time when we cut one last year." I don't recall being or thinking I was mad, and I recall the day really clearly. The "mad" thing seems to be a final blast of the shotgun of justification.
Never did hate, b#*tch, ugly, fat, stupid or any classical emotional abuse words come from my mouth to her. Of c ourse, never any physical abuse of any kind.
Furthermore as related to emotional abuse: I am guilty of being a Mars-direct communicator.
I am guilty of having ideas on how we should live our life and saying those ideas.
I am guilty of not being empathetic to her feelings at times.
I am guilty of trying to solve her problems when she wanted someone to just listen.
I am guilty of blaming her for buying more house than we need because she wanted a big yard.
I am guilty of not going to MC when she wanted to in May.
I am guilty of not agreeing our marriage was in trouble in April when she said so.
WAW complained about many of my guilty statements above. I do not believe those things rise to emotional abuse. They were not always the loving thing to do, but they were not emotional abuse.
WAW is a "words of affirmation" along with "quality time" woman, both of these things I am certain the OM figured out pretty quickly. I found out too late.
