If her mother is financing her while having the A, then she is clearly not able to make it on her own. I doubt her lover makes much as a full-time school teacher, either. In due time, she will begin to feel the pressure of not having the nicer things in life that you were able to give her (unless mom continues to dish it out). Just one of the sad facts about A's is after reality sets in and her brain is dried of those false "in-love" chemicals that's been flooding it....then she will see the disaster she's made of her life & her family. By this time, you may or may not want to consider having her back into your life, but there can be another chance even after D.....in some cases. As it has been said, it takes so long for most WAW's to finally come out of the fog that things have changed and LBH has moved on and doesn't want a reconciliation.

FWIW, I think you've handled yourself well. With holidays ahead, it will be a very difficult time. Be with friends & family as much as possible. Stay focused and enjoy your kids to the fullest.

BTW, did you figure out anything by reading up on emotional abuse....and how your W thought you had abused her?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!