How on earth could a man love a woman, and want to keep the relationship, if they almost never have sex? To me, that's not love. At least, not romantic/sexual/mate love. If it's love without sex, then it's friend love or family love.
I won't lie to you, I don't understand this either. Not deep down where it really counts, though I know more of the fact and theory of love languages and all the rest. And I also can't tell you that your husband really loves you without expressing it sexually where it would mean most to you. I don't actually know that about him, and if you're like me, that kind of positive cheerleading only reinforces your doubts when it comes from someone who can't know whether it's true or not.
What I can tell you, and hope you'll believe it because this I do know, is that I said exactly the same things about my wife. I said very similar words *to* my wife--I told her that if we weren't lovers, we were the same as siblings or roommates. That I loved my mother and my sister deeply and would step in front of a truck to save either of them, but I wanted my relationship with her to be different from my relationship with them. I didn't need another sister or a mother.
She convinced me, by trying to work out our sexual issues, our control issues, her depression . . . well, a lot of things . . . that she does love me. And eventually we began to make our sex life work again. It's not perfect, but it's nothing like it was. I feel loved, and I realize that she loved me all along. She just didn't understand what we were doing to each other, and honestly, neither did I.
Love and sex are not separate for me, and I don't understand how they can be for her, but I know they were. I hope that gives you hope for you and your husband. Again, I won't presume to tell you what your husband is thinking, but I'm convinced that there ARE people for whom sex doesn't feel related to love in any real way.
