You sound a lot better today, Stu. Working on your self-esteem will help you detach from your W, also. It is fine to blow your horn to us.
Even though you only see her once a week for a few minutes....she will be looking you over very well, so always look like you are on your way to pick up a hot date!
The way you told your W you would not be home.....without telling her exactly what you would be doing.....was perfect! Even telling her that you would be busy New Year's Eve was okay b/c, after all, you didn't want to wait until the last minute, right?
I don't know much that makes us feel better than to know a stranger is looking at us with admiring glances (even a little smile helps once in a while). You have been so depressed that you have put all your emotion into thinking how miserable you'd be without her and have thought nothing to any positives about the "here & now". I guess what I'm saying is to try to stay upbeat as much as possible......and it takes work to stay upbeat when things are not so good. I have dealt with depression for most of my life and I know how miserable one can feel in that condition. I have found that staying busy and making plans in to how to keep busy helps a lot. The more I'm alone....the easier it is to get depressed.
The new year will be hitting soon and you need to make sure you are not alone during the holidays b/c that will be a test on your emotions. Holidays can depress a lot of people. Especially on New Year's Eve......take a date (even if it is a relative) b/c that is one time you do not need to be alone and thinking about the year ahead in any negative way. Get your calendar down and look ahead and plan outings that will help you. What inspires you? What gives you physical energy? Are you involved in Church and civic activities? Watch your newpaper to see the things that are advertized that you can attend. As I said....it takes a lot of effort.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
