The man I married was my favorite person to talk to, and I was his. We had lots of fun together. We had passionate, frequent sex. He is very intelligent, interesting, knowledgeable. He makes me laugh a lot. We have a lot in common in many ways. That's the guy I married.
But he began to treat me differently as soon as we married. I don't know exactly what that is about. I do think that his renewed obsession with the unattainable woman may be a clue. Did he lose interest because he 'caught me"? Based on some things I said, Gucci seemed to think my H really goes for the hard to get woman, and suggested I give him that challenge in a big way.
Dudess, that is a fairly typical pattern for abusive individuals. They are one person for the wooing, no matter how long it takes, and they are someone else, the real person, when they've "caught you" as you say. Not to mention, he in particular seems to want someone to be his mommy. It causes major confusion and cognitive dissonance for the person caught in the trap...
Gucci might suggest that he needs the hard to get woman, but that isn't feasible in a marriage relationship...I mean, you could play it that way and have it work for now, but eventually you have to be "gotten" if you're married. Who wants to spend the rest of their lives being hard to get AFTER marriage.
