What was he hoping to get out of that relationship that he couldn't get from you?
What if he needed constant attention, having everything his way and the chemical romance that is particular to new relationships?
I would say that mine wanted something that no committed, intimate relationship can deliver - no responsibilities, no real life stuff to take care of, not having to take the other person in to account, no effort put in to sustaining the good stuff, and never ever any displeasure with anything he does.
In other words, if he were to get in a relationship with her, she can't deliver it either. No one can. I don't think he grasps that a committed, intimate relationship can actually deliver so much more.
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Sometimes people end up where they want to be regardless of who they married. Meaning, based on my priorities and my values, I am sticking by my kids and my H is circling the globe seeking stimulation, adulation, attention, etc.
If we had children, I don't doubt that the same thing would be happening here. As it is, I would have been completely moved out by now except that I won't abandon my step-dog.
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
So, because the H throws a little breadcrumb about Christmas, doesn't mean Dudess wants to jump on it and cosign that H having whatever he wants whenever he wants is A-okay.
I didn't even see it as him throwing me a breadcrumb. He didn't say, "I would like to spend Christmas with you but I don't know how you feel about that." He asked what I wanted rather than risk saying what he wants.
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
This is always tough to figure out. How available am I for the good stuff, if you refuse to co-handle the tough stuff? I am working that out for myself.
This has been a tough balancing act for me too. Then it got worse. I did all the work to get this trip together, and was available for the good stuff, - and he is the only one who got the good stuff. I stayed home and picked up dog poop.
Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Rambling, I am again...
Your rambling usually makes a lot of sense to me A & K. Our husbands seem to both be mezmerized by a certain glamourous lifestyle. Ironic that my H said he loved how down to earth and unpretentious I am.
