Can I save my marriage?

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Sorry. Mamabears care more about their cubs than hurting their sisters' feelings.

[Ready2Change]

I cant say anything like that cause it obviously came from my sisters mouth and she told me to swear I wouldn't say anything as she doesn't want to be involved. I left this morning and on my way out he complimented me. How much he likes my jacket and how good it looks on me. I was still so mad that I said thanks and left. He is on nights now at work so I am just trying to stay away till I have a good chance to sit down and talk to him.

Do not let the victim triangle control your actions.

Think about who is responsible for the well being of S3. If H is not pulling his weight in this area, who's responsibility is it to bring it to his attention?

It does not sound to me like H is pulling his 50% of parenting responsibility. NOW IS THE TIME.

[Ready2Change]

H will not know who told you. S3 could have. It DOES NOT MATTER. The thing that matters is that when you are AWARE of irresponsible behavior, YOU BRING IT TO LIGHT in a non blaming way. You give H the two choices. One to continue the irresponsible behavior with natural consequences FOR HIM. The other GOOD choice that a more responsible person would choose.

[Ready2Change]

Sorry for the 2x4's. HUGS

Here is a different way to look at this. Imagine,visualize or pretend that you are reading someone elses thread. What advice would you agree with?

[courts0818]

That's true, Britt. If you feel that uncomfortable involving your sister, you could say your son told you daddy hurt his feelings - that should make him feel more guility anyway.

[Ready2Change]

I also see some boundaries with sis.

Sorry, I can not make that promise. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.

[Ready2Change]

That's true, Britt. If you feel that uncomfortable involving your sister, you could say your son told you daddy hurt his feelings - that should make him feel more guility anyway.

I DISAGREE. Do not tell H how you know. It is not you responsibility to inform H how you find out about irresponsible behavior.

[TrentC]

That's true, Britt. If you feel that uncomfortable involving your sister, you could say your son told you daddy hurt his feelings - that should make him feel more guility anyway.

Agreed. Besides, him carping about how you found out would be trying to change the subject.

"It doesn't matter how I found out. You're sneaking out of the house to avoid talking to your son, who loves you and misses you. I won't stand for it; unless you grow up and start acting like their father, then I think it will be less confusing for the kids if you just go back to your sister's place."

[Ready2Change]

Britt,

MsR2C has lost all control of me. I know where my responsibility ends and hers begin. I am no longer going to stand for disrespectful or controlling behavior. You should not allow it in your life either.

HUGS

[Puppy Dog Tails]

Mamabear.