Well I did it. I emailed him today and told him 3 things. 1 is that I will not share him anymore and if he chooses to continue the affair, I will not be in the same space as him, whether that means he moves out or we work out a schedule in the house. 2 is that I won't allow him to treat me unkind and without respect and if he chooses to continue to treat me that way, same as above. and 3, I was just flat out honest, that part of me wants to decide to love each other and work on it and the other part of me knows I deserve better. I asked him if he feels comfortable to talk to me, then to do it and if not to write me back. I told him knowledge is power and now he has that power to make his own decision and once he does that, I will make mine. I told him either way, he needs to get back to me on his decision on 1 and 2 and that I had a pretty good feeling his thoughts on 3, but if he'd like to share, i'm open to his thoughts. He was in the other room when I did it. He has a blackberry and just left with daughter to go to the store. I know that's the first thing he checks when he's out of the house. Now I just give it a day or two and then I'll press for at least an acknowledgement, and if he needs more time, fine, but he has to let me know when. I'm so proud of myself. I hovered over that send button for a long time...
