You have been more than helpful and I appreciate your advice very much.
We are property mgrs. so we work together and live in a condo on-site. H has not given his two weeks notice but has his plane ticket for Dec. 9th and is not turning back. Our job is a joint job and I don't honestly know what will happen with my work/living situation at this moment. H has dragged not putting in his two weeks notice and I am afraid he won't give any notice as it is just too hard. Just like taking care of his stuff is too hard. I sold the couch last night on Craig's List and I could tell that kind of bothered him, but I said I did not know what my future holds but it would be a smaller living space for me next so I needed to downsize. Still nothing about how sorry he is for leaving me to take care of everything. Everything is just so emotioinal and hard for him to do but yet I have to pick up all the pieces. Believe me not knowing my work/living arrangement is not good but I just feel NUMB I really have a don't care attitude. Either way there are going to be messes to clean up he leaves behind.
Also I just don't feel mad at him either. As he is telling his family and friends his news this week they are just throwing him under the bus. They think he is wacko and could not imagine why he would leave me. Everyone seems to be worried about me and think he is being mean so I can not just pile on so I am sucking it up and trying to detach and validate. I hate receiving pity. H predicted family/friends would react this way I was just so surprised how uncaring they are at all, I expected more concern. However, he has been dettaching from everyone for about a year so he has said and done some not so nice things to all of us.
This has me confused. Do you stay around and sepnd those last couple of days with memories or positive thoughts or do you make it clear this is not want you want and stay away - start going dark? I just cannot express enough that I don't want to be a doormat as he leaves. I need to send some kind of message that when he goes I won't be available. I've not been throwing tantrums and begging/and or pleading doesn't mean that I am okay with the D and his leaving.
Confused, Michele M 42 H 41 Together 23 yrs M 16 yrs H leaving Dec. 9th Divorce in progress
