To me.. the situation you find yourself in is not unique. While you have given us ideas about things that have happened that led you to where you are now.. the underlying issue.. or your wall.. is the OM (Cheating).
Assume that the relationships she had were PA. Really it does not matter if they were or were not. But.. we will go on the fact that they were PA's.
The question you really have to answer is.. Is that (PA) a deal breaker for you? Can you put that and all that means behind you for a "while"?
This is the first step for you.
Relax Eat Think Act normal React.. Smartly. Do something different. Emulate. Do Work.
