But I really am done. If she comes back at this point, she would have to prove to me that she was worth taking back. With the guys that she has slept with and the image she has tried so hard to obtain, it would take a miracle.
25, I prayed and begged God for a full year for this. I fasted and prayed like crazy. I made sure that I went and stopped by a church on the way home from work to make sure I was in the Presence when I prayed. I would go days without eating to prove to God how much I wanted this.
I quess we can chalk it up that starving yourself is not a successful Divorce Busting method.
I quess we can chalk it up that starving yourself is not a successful Divorce Busting method.
I'm reminded of the joke (that someone else posted in another thread):
Quote:
There once was a prediction of an imminent flood in Ohio. A warning was announced on the local radio and TV. The sheriff drove around to make sure everyone had evacuated the area. He came to one man’s house, found the owner still there, and told him to get into his jeep to avoid the coming flood. The man replied, “Don’t worry, the Lord will save me!”
Well, the floods came and the man had to go up to the second floor of his house. A rescue boat went by. “Get onboard, the flood is going to get even worse!” the rescue worker cried out. But the man said, “Don’t worry, the Lord will save me!”
The flood did get worse! The man had to go up on his roof to avoid the rising water! A helicopter flew over his house. “Grab the rescue line,” they hollered to the man. “Don’t worry,” the man hollered back, “the Lord will save me!” The waters rose further, the man was washed away ... and he drowned! Thankfully, the man wound up in heaven. But, when the man saw God, he strutted right up to God and said, “Why didn’t you save me? I waited for you!”
God replied, “I sent you a jeep, a boat, and a helicopter! What more did you want me to do?! All you had to do was get onboard!!”
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Just so I'm clear....This "miracle" is that your mil is thinking of not excluding your from a family event?
When in doubt, lower your expectations...
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
25, I prayed and begged God for a full year for this. I fasted and prayed like crazy. I made sure that I went and stopped by a church on the way home from work to make sure I was in the Presence when I prayed. I would go days without eating to prove to God how much I wanted this.
. . .
If W comes back, great. If she doesn't, oh well. I am done praying and fasting for our marriage.
You really are a pretty black and white guy, Kevin, aren't you. Have you ever considered there just MIGHT some middle ground between those two extremes I've quoted here from you?
I just need to separate myself from my W as best as possible and not look at anyone else like I have been. I just need to focus on my kids and not live a double standard life regardless of how frusturated I become. It isn't worth it and it does nothing in the way of helping me be the complete person I need to be. I think really I am just going to bury myself in my work and kids and try and make the next jump in my career. I am not going to bother pursuing an outside R with someone. It just isn't worth it. And it defeats any and all efforts of "standing". And why do I want to pursue something that I would essentially have to keep quiet if I want any chance of my W coming back. I don't feel right about it. If I can't look my kids straight in the eyes and be honest, then I don't need to be doing it.
Whatever happens will happen. Nothing I can do about it. I really have to focus back on myself again and being the best I can be. I really lost track of that recently and started down a path I should have avoided. I am going to get myself back on the right path.
Middle ground would be good Puppy. I am going to take some time off from the boards for a while.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Have you ever considered there just MIGHT some middle ground between those two extremes I've quoted here from you?
So does that make you the jeep, the boat, or the helicopter?
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Oh, I'm pretty sure I'm the helicopter. Maybe even the helicopter+1.
I would have said the submarine, myself. Maybe the scuba tank.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
If W comes back, great. If she doesn't, oh well. I am done praying and fasting for our marriage.
Who am I kidding. I will still pray for my M. Frusturation just blocks that sometimes. But I really do need to focus on being a better me.
And 25, I read your posts.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
