Back again...unfortunately

[lynn97]

Thanks Cling. I'm sorry to hear your in the same boat. I have used the 3 session counseling too and they do help. Most of all it really helps to hear from others in the same situation. Especially some of the expert db'rs around here. I find reading through others sitches helps me pick up things I should or shouldn't be doing.

I've actually been wondering if what she is going through is a MLC. It's so hard not to want to help her when she is so depressed. I know I'm supposed to be lovingly distant, but it kills me not to help. But I know that is something I have to work on in myself. I have to break this co-dependency.

Last night had its ups and downs. I fixed dinner, kept it upbeat. Most importantly I spent some quality time with my daughter. That was very nice.

She was really depressed. I listened, tried to add small words of encouragement but that was it. I didn't try to fix it and that was a huge improvement for me.

I had already planned to have a beer with a friend after I put the kids to bed so after our brief talk I left (I needed to get out of there anyway, she was depressing me too). I actually got a couple texts from her after a bit asking how it was going and such which was nice.

The biggest thing last night is after we laid down to go to sleep she said "You are so confusing". So I asked her what she meant and she said "Because you're this new person again, the "good" you". I smiled and said, that's the real me. Sometimes I just forget and fall into bad patterns. That's why I'm working on me and getting help.

It's a small thing I know, but shows it's working. I just need to keep working on me this time. I need to be a better man and father regardless of how this all turns out