Therefore, my conclusion is that books, videos, marriage workshops, conseling should probably be sufficient to provide any "education" not gained through mutual trial and error.
There are some pretty "hot" DVD's out by the Sinclair Institute on things like mutual erotic massage and ways to better sex that if you have a willing partner could allow you to "spice things up" quite a bit.
Funny thing you should say that. About 15 years ago, I got the videotape "The Female Orgasm" from that outfit, in which a woman carefully, slowly and tastefully demonstrated giving herself an orgasm. That was the first time I'd ever seen what convincingly looked like a real female orgasm, whether in real life or on video. I was blown away, in part because her body language was so similar to mine when I experience the same. It was at the time, deeply shocking to actually see a woman experiencing the same physical intensity I can experience, and to realize I had never seen that before in any woman anywhere. It put a new perspective on the physical relationship I had had with my wife for so many years, where she was never interested in any touching (in fact, would always refuse such touching) or buildup of any kind, and it was just about me having an orgasm.
But after that, I started to gently ask my wife about how I could help increase her physical participation in our sexual relationship, and that is pretty much when she started resisting and becoming less interested in sex and shutting me off. It was as if she had been "found out" or something. She took every suggestion in this regard to be judgemental, and that I wasn't satisfied with her, and that she didn't measure up. It was impossible for me to put it in a good light.
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You need to be careful on the Sinclair DVD's as your wife could easily react to these as pornography as opposed to therapy.
Yeah, that's exactly what happend. I got some additional videos targeted for women on self-stimulation... videos which were highly recommended by women for other women. And it backfired badly. She took it as a huge insult, and refused to read or watch any of the stuff. At that point, I was suddenly a sex-obsessed pervert.
Things have improved in other areas since that time, but the sex never came back.
