Waiting More Than a Dozen Years

[Young at Heart]

I really haven't given an update.....

...It's been 151 months since my last sexual intimacy. The days, weeks, months, and years keep adding up.

....What broke the ice was this: I had been scheduled to speak at a civics group which she heads and I had been on that schedule for several months in advance

.....At the end, the people who attended were telling me (and my wife) that this was the best seminar that they had ever had. Maybe it was the fact that I hadn't embarassed her, maybe it was all these women who focused their attention on me, but it statrted with my wife telling me that I had done a wonderful job.

That began to open the conversation without argument. But it was very tentative at first.

But the ultimate outcome was and is there is no going back. There will never be any more sexual intimacy in this marriage. I've been living with that for the last couple of months.

First, congratulations on re-establishing communications through your actions. It sounds like your wife is showing you some love through words of affirmation (5 Languages of Love by Dr Chapman).

...151 months! My less than a handful of months seems to be not quite as big a deal to me now (especially since as was pointed out to me, I had provided my wife with permission to stop sexual intimacy). While I feel that I have been suffering, my heart goes out to you and your suffering. I am impressed with your resolve, determination and inner strength.

Good luck to you and your wife in working on your relationship.