If you were to divorce or separate, I would 100% agree that you should date around and sleep around for a good long time until you feel you've experienced a significant amount of sex.
That makes sense, and it's certainly what I'd do in that case.
So my challenge is how can I get that out of my system if I don't divorce and concentrating just on my wife, and hoping that things will improve, after many years of celibacy, and few that have not been entirely celibate. It will take effort on my part to be happy with the limited sex we previously had, which was just enough at the time to give me hope it could improve. If I could turn her into a once-a-day enthusiastic erotic partner, it would be a miracle.
I'm hoping for that huge turnaround and epiphany on her part. I wonder if that's possible. Some of you seem to be suggesting it, though I certainly wouldn't have thought it would be possible. Sometimes a huge change can be much more powerful than gradual changes, simply because they are so hard to ignore. But I don't know where to begin with that with someone whose possible current issue might be that she has worked on her sexual abuse issues, but has decided not to work through it. Or perhaps has felt that she has worked through it, but that it hasn't helped make her feel sexual, and so she's given up on that? She is such a spirited and capable achiever in other areas of life, to her great credit. But I also sense it's in part to make up for some areas of her life she doesn't want to face up to, or feels she has no hope of succeeding with. I'm not her, so I don't know. I've tried asking her about this, but a spouse cannot play shrink, as you well know.
