[quote]it's the emotional side of me that I am having the hardest time with. I feel so much pressure on my chest, it almost takes the wind out of me when I think of her w/OP. I get this feeling of hate, and nausea, and complete abandonment. Is this normal? /quote]
Yes, it's normal. Test it for effectiveness - Will thinking the worst and imagining awful scenarios help me right now? What do you want the solution to be no matter how it turns out? Remember if you fly off the handle it hurts you in lots of ways.
Google Martin Seligman and the ABC technique. You change your thinking you change your emotions. TEA - thought proceeds emotion, emotion proceeds action.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach, no thinking/imagining the worst only fills me with more dread/despair. The solution I want is to be happy, and a better man/father/husband. I will work on ABC tech, along with emotionally detaching. I feel the unknown is playing a big part in all of this as well, which makes me think of the Stockdale Paradox as well. I have so much work to do in such a short amount of time. 1 week to go!!!
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
Ok, I wrote earlier that W contacted me yesterday via e-mail to ask about a cell phone for S15. I did not reply. Not 10 minutes ago, another e-mail asking if I needed a new phone card. This is more contact than I have really had from her-besides arguing-in a while. Thoughts on this? I have not responded to either e-mail.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach, I value your opinion. Is there anything to this? Usually, I ask her for the phone card. I don't want to think that this is anything more than W asking if I need anything, but it also makes me think it might be something else. Probably more of this emotional roller coaster I am on, and more of that false hope. LOL at the LZ!
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
I don't want to think that this is anything more than W asking if I need anything, but it also makes me think it might be something else.
Thinking about the wrong stuff soldier. Soon as you figure out what someone else is thinking then the Army will have a new special ops program for you.
Here's the deal she wants to D you, gathering evidence about potential/probable affair and rebellious behavior on her part. You want the contact to be serious - kids, money, D. boundaries. You handle your business right now.
Glad you saw the joke. That kind of humor get's lost in the civilian world.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Coach, Thank you for refocusing my efforts. You are absolutely right, gotta quit "thinking". That thinkin' stuff is as dangerous as a rusty t-rat can. I am face first into the wind, waitin' on the green light!
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
I feel so much pressure on my chest, it almost takes the wind out of me when I think of her w/OP. I get this feeling of hate, and nausea, and complete abandonment. Is this normal?
When it first became clear to me that my W was having an A and who it was with I vomited, then went into denial for about a week. Not sure if that's normal but have a physical reaction to your spouse cheating on you is I'd say.
Age: 28 Wife's Age: 28 Relationship: 10 Years (dated on and off) Married: Less than one year Seperated: 1.75 years, finally served with D 4/30/2011
I went into a severe depression. Lost 15 pounds in less than 2 months cuz I was nauseous all the time and could hardly eat. I barely had 15 pounds to lose, I got down below what I weighed when I graduated high school lol.
If I was home, I thought about it incessantly. I had to get out and be distracted, but I didn't have the energy to do so. Depression at its finest.
For whatever reason, she has decided that continuing the argument/nasty e-mails will not be productive. So, she has switched tactics. No one except her knows why. No point in trying to figure it out.
Just ride it out til you get to see your kids!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
Well, less than a week out, and I am feeling pretty good. Started to think, and began feeling sorry for myself, but refused to give in to it. Nothing more from her after the short e-mail she sent. Tonight is second night of PI, won't find out anything until about 5 days after, so more waiting. And that kinda sucks, as it comes just as I am getting ready to get on a plane. Hope everyone has a great weekend.
"embrace the suck" - Coach "don't go all "Melty Man" on us" - Puppy Let Go and Let God Finally "Got It" - 15 Jan 2010
