I just really cant see H coming home, all our families and friends know he is here again only for him to be seeing OW. It just doesnt make sense. All his fellow police officers know he is home again. Thats a big risk to take to let everyone he knows and cares about to think we are together again only to either not want to try to fix this marriage or to be seeing OW.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
Brit, I know you want your h home and you want your m to continue. But based on your info you need to stand up for yourself. Look yourself in the mirror and realize what he is doing is absolutly unaccacptable. I think sometimes when we truly look into our situations. I think we realize the way we our allowing our spouses to treat us we our settleing fro something that we should absolutly not accept. I wish my w came back everyday but Ill never let her come back and treat the way she has for a very long time. I settled for and justified her being a bad wife...And that wasnt far to me and what he is doing isnt fair to you..
STand Up For YourSElf!! And be Proud..Of the MOther and wife you are!!
Me 39 W 33 Married 7yrs Together 10 2 children 3 and 1 Says"She's moving on with her life"
I just really cant see H coming home, all our families and friends know he is here again only for him to be seeing OW. It just doesnt make sense. All his fellow police officers know he is home again. Thats a big risk to take to let everyone he knows and cares about to think we are together again only to either not want to try to fix this marriage or to be seeing OW.
As I pointed out before: people have risked and ruined lives, families, careers, and reputations by the boatload for a little action on the side.
If there's an OW, then part of the affair is physiological. He's got the same love chemicals bubbling in his head as he did when he fell in love with you.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Anyway, question...why would he come home now if there was an OM? Kind of backwards dont you think.
Naw, if I had someone on the side but wanted to keep my wife around for financial, children, or control issues and there was a possibly of another guy moving in on her I would want to root that out quickly. even the cheaters dont like getting cheated on.
Originally Posted By: britt54
I just really cant see H coming home, all our families and friends know he is here again only for him to be seeing OW. It just doesnt make sense. All his fellow police officers know he is home again. Thats a big risk to take to let everyone he knows and cares about to think we are together again only to either not want to try to fix this marriage or to be seeing OW.
I'm confused here. I taught he was home. and that you have yet to gather any intel regarding a possible affair?
I often try to find reasoning as to why an otherwise good father can suddenly turn into a turd.
Another woman.
Britt's not saying there is an OW, just that she couldn't understand why he would come home if there was.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
This story breaks my heart. I think it's time for Mamabear to make an appearance. Lay out a boundary, calmly but forcefully. Do this in person, so he can see your eyes and your resolve:
"I heard how you ignored S3 last nite. He was heartbroken. If you cannot take even 10 minutes to spend with them when you come home, then you are no longer welcome to come home. I have tolerated your disrespect and coldness towards ME, but make no mistake, I will NOT tolerate it towards my SON. I suggest you apologize to him."
And then walk away.
Puppy
Puppy is very wise. He is giving you great advise here.
Different wording:
"I heard you ignored S3 last night. He was heartbroken. If you cannot spend even 10 minutes with him when you come home, then you are no longer welcome to come home. I will not tolerate disrespect in this house and I will NOT tolerate it towards my SON. I suggest you apologize to him."
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I cant say anything like that cause it obviously came from my sisters mouth and she told me to swear I wouldnt say anything as she doesnt want to be involved. I left this morning and on my way out he complimented me. How much he likes my jacket and how good it looks on me. I was still so mad that I said thanks and left. He is on nights now at work so I am just trying to stay away till I have a good chance to sit down and talk to him.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
Lay out a boundary, calmly but forcefully. Do this in person, so he can see your eyes and your resolve: