while looking up information to understand some of my spouses actions recently and understand myself i found this great website by this life counselor that has written some great articles about borderline personality disorder, narcassism, and the people in realtionships with these people.
She also has some great quotes that have helped me recently and allowed me to realize that I am not crazy and about the importance of setting boundaries with these types of personalities.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
4Luv...Thanks Wow is all I can say. OMG. This was a great site. I hope I am not that gullible as I haven't researched the author to a great degree but it was like reading a script from my life of the last 15 years. Like I told this person here is what is happening in my life and they wrote a diary for me. I am specifically talking about the portion of the website called At any cost…it deals with something called borderline personality.
glad you all found it helpful like i did. it was really eye opening and the only reason i came across this website is because my dad is a therapist and has for YEARS told me that he thought my hubby was borderline personality. i usually don't believe my dad's counseling jargon but decided to look it up recently due to all the things that have been going on. And BINGO! All the research that I've done fits my hubby including the childhood trauma/issues that leads people to this type of disorder. it has been very eyeopening as well as disheartening. i spoke to the lady who wrote the article and she said that the reason it hits home with a lot of people who deal with borderlines/narcassistic personalities is because the script is really all the same. she said the details of each story is different but in the end its all similar. my hubby's mom was troubled when he was young and he grew up with his grandparents until his grandma died when he was 13. then he moved with his mom who had a series of troubled relationships and my hubby didn't like her or have a relationship with her until he was grown. he has abandonment issues and in his view its not love if there is no chaos. he has told me that he hates quiet because thats when he has to think alot and he hates when things are too calm because he thinks that something terrible is going to go wrong. the one disheartening thing that my dad and author of the articles agreed is that its a very draining relationship for someone thats with a borderline personality. its almost impossible that they will ever seek help and when they do it takes YEARS of therapy (minimum 5 years). I have compassion for hubby's situation and at the same time I have to look out for our son and myself as well.
Me: 28 H: 32 1st marriage 4 both 1 1/2 year married 2gether for 9 1S: 6months 1stepson: 2yo
