If he were just a close friend, what would you say to him?
B/c I had a convo like this with a friend I can tell you when she was talking about woulda, coulda, shoulda, I listened for a bit then said something like "I know you wish it was different, but it isn't. The question is do you believe the amazing people in your life that are working on getting past all this have some ulterior motive? What would that be? Let's see, that they truly love you and are willing to do whatever it takes to change things? Be patient and yes, you wil have to explain yourself sometimes, but you created that. Be patient." I also, know that her C suggsted that there be a specific time during the week that her H could "ask" about the affair and other than then he had to wait for the next go round. I think it's different for women in that many seem to take more jabs and want more info. You can control this though.
I like the way kjensen put it. Try differnt things and go with what works
