why oh WHY do our spouses continue to ask us what wrong???
Because in their own round-a-bout ways they care.
Cutter asked me to stop by and look in on you. I briefly read through your thread and can see you've received solid advice. You yourself have come across some revelations too. That lead you to this statement:
Quote:
im so upset with myself! i KNOW what i need to do...WHY am i struggling to do it???
Because you're trying to do EVERYTHING at once. Take some time, write down everything you need to do and pick ONE a day. Spend the day practicing it. Practice makes perfect. The next day add one more item and do both... and so on... and so on...
I wish I had more time to follow and 'watch' your thread closely, but I'm overextended at the moment.
This is an extract of something I posted in my sitch. It may help you understand your H a little:
Originally Posted By: Gnosis
How did I get to the point of wanting to walk away?
When I looked at my wife I saw the complete antithesis of the woman I had married. She never smiled. Was always complaining. She pointedly looked for negativity everywhere. If the sun shone, it was too hot, if it rained it was wet. Whenever she opened her mouth 'bad news' would flow. She allowed her family to dump on her and would return home and dump on me. That's all I heard... problems, problems, problems. Later on she didn't even need to utter a word. A look, an expression on her face, body language, an action... was all that was needed express her disapproval of me. People don't need to scream to communicate. With this constant onslaught I withdrew emotionally and physically. Every time I gave something it was reciprocated with a slap in the face. I reached the point where I had nothing left to give
My life had been my wife. I felt I had failed her and myself. Her Venus-speak led me to believe I was guilty of everything. At one point I honestly thought she would have been better off without ever meeting me. Not only that, her constant nagging and complaining had killed whatever attraction and love I felt for her. So I left. I needed to figure out what I wanted to do - free from external factors that could influence my decision. One thing that is important to mention here: I was in emotional pain and had no 'resources' (supportive family or friends I could trust) to fall back on. I never shared or made known the crisis my marriage was in to a living soul. My wife STILL doesn't know.
M:11 | T:12 | Status: Married 4C's of WAS communication: Cool, Calm, Collected and CONFIDENT
