the problem I see is that you seem to be grieving for something you wish you had had instead of what you actually had. In doing this you are downplaying anything good that might be coming your way
ding-ding-ding!! Fig has it! I think that is one of the biggest steps so many of us LBS's have had to take...realizing that what we are mourning may never have actually existed. We mourn what we dreamed about...the perfect marriage of our dreams. But so many of us were married to narcissistic "takers" and we never had that dream marriage, or anything even remotely close. And what the WAS spouse now has is not something we would want either. So where does that leave us? Hurt, but able to recover and live the lives we dream of!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
