WAW on suicide watch, what now???

[MHL]

I had a consultation yesterday. I have not retained them yet but probably will next week. I felt much better after the meeting b/c all of the emotional BS goes out the window. It is just facts and reality both of which my W has avoided since this H$ll on Earth began back in May. I have the house, the kids and have been caring for them full time 24/7 since she has been gone(I threw her out Aug 25).
Her sister is a big influence on her right now, along with her aunt. Their motivation is the kids, what they don't understand is that my W's motivation is freedom. My wife may be telling them what they want to hear but I am certain she still yearns for the carefree no responsibility lifestyle. That is why she contacted OM back to re-establish the affair, he rebuked her. He is still in love with his W and is trying to work on their R. I want her to realize that she will be paying me child support until both kids D13,S9 reach 18. Even if we agree to joint custody where neither one of us is paying the other the burden of caring for the kids half of the time will impinge on her lifestyle choice. I think right now she views the kids as more of pets than children, she can come around once in while when it is convenient for her and play with them (right now just S9, D13 hates her) and then go back to OM, partying, etc.

Right now we are trying to work out the details of getting my S9 to her for a sleepover with her tomorrow night. I was a little concerned at first with the suicide threat but I know that was a bunch of BS, she would never hurt herself she is having too much fun right now, and I don't think she would hurt our S9. I am concerned though about SIL. SIL is very opinionated, thinks she is right about everything, even relationships. SIL is no expert on R, she is 35 and never been in a R that lasted more than a couple of months. SIL tries to interject herself into our R, and I am setting boundries concerning SIL. SIL is trying to play the roll of a parent to our kids. 3 weeks ago SIL was here to help with D13's Bday party and took both kids out to eat. I asked SIL not to talk to D13 about sitch unless D13 brought it up and to absolutely not talk about sitch in front of S9. As soon as they sat down to eat (according to D13) she started talking about sitch with both our kids. I did not find out until a week later. Needless to say I am furious but I have resigned myself to not say anything and keep my anger in check as it will not help the sitch. I am a little concerned that SIL might try something stupid like wisk my S9 back to VA.

I have not spoken to W since Nov 15, and only been texting 3 or 4 times since Nov. 28. The NC has helped me detatch further but I want to talk to my W to calmly express my concerns about SIL. I hate texting for this level of communication plus it leaves a trail. I don't know if I should just let it go as a nice gesture towards my W. The last time I did that my W broke down over the phone and started crying saying "she was sorry, she did not want it to turn out this way". I guess that was a positive baby step in the DB effort. Not sure what to do.