"You can do what you want for Christmas, I have my own plans."
How about: "It's not important to me that you be here for Christmas. Please let me know if you decide to return before Christmas because I won't need a housesitter if you do. Otherwise, have fun in cold, dark, country."
I replied to him, basically as I stated above. He replied with this:
Quote:
Dudess, as it seems to you now, in your opinion, would it be a realistic statement to say that it looks like we are not going to stay together?
I ask for purposes of reality check.Just so we could both be realistic in planning our lives.
I`d appreciate knowing how it is for you at the moment.
I am quite certain this is NOT "Just so we could both be realistic in planning our lives." More likely it is a weak man's way of telling me that he doesn't want to stay together but hoping he doesn't have to say that directly. He keeps making this easier for me. If he actually did something I could respect, the split would be harder for me.
I suspect that he has avoided thinking about the situation and now that he is preparing to return, he is facing the reality that I am here - in the house. One reason I have not told him that I am moving is that it could work to my advantage for him to ask me to move. He owns the house we live in. Under the law in my state, a spouse who is the sole owner of the marital home can't kick the other one out without a court order.
If I were to make him get such an order, it is common for the spouse who owns the home to pay rent for the one who leaves during the pendency of the divorce. It would probably take at least 90 days to get me gone via court order. A better alternative would be for him to say, "I think it is best we don't live together so if you will move, without forcing me to go to court to make it happen, I will pay your rent for X number of months."
My inclination is to make no response to his email and see what his next move is. I am open to other ideas of course.
