C - The way I see it. You can either continue playing the punishment game or you can consider forgiveness. What would happen if you showed her "a little" of your sensitive side. Believe me I know how hard it is to drop the defenses after all that has transpired. I just think that if you let her know some more of how this made you feel and how you understand why she did what she did you might see some progress. The line of communication hasn't been cut completely. Try a different approach and see what happens. Remember 180's? You are in the final round. You will always have some sort of relationship with her as coparents. You will want it to be civil.
If I were you next time you speak with her I would say something like "look I know I haven't been as nice and respectful to you the last couple months, but when I discovered what was going on it really hurt. I had reached a point of understanding of how it must have felt treating you the way I did in the past. We have both done things to hurt eachother and I want to just put it in the past. If YOU are not capable of FORGIVENESS then that is your CHOICE I personally have carried this burden long enough."
If she's still hell bent then she had convinced herself a long time ago and there's nothing that can be said or done right now to change that. Just move on with everything and let her be the one to put the last nail in the coffin by drawing up the final agreement that you can change and review.
