Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

OH MY GOD!

Somebody pinch me and tell me it was all a dream........oh wait, couldn't have been becasuse I haven't been to sleep

I get 'home' last night and get into the mix of making dinner and get a text from XW "what's up", I reply 'making dinner'. She then replies "so we're not going to bourbon st. (concert club we used to frequent on Thursday nights)". I figured she was pulling my leg. But guess what, we ended up there, ALL night.

It was like the past 2 years have never happened for the most part. We laughed, we joked, we sang along with the band, we cuddled, she drew me close to her and had her hand on my thigh all night, and after "the talk" we kissed, several times, 4 of which were heated and I thought we would get kicked out. I can't even remember when exactly the last time I kissed her was!

On the more serious matters, XW is fully aware and willing to sever ties with whomever not only I but she feels is threat to the re-birth of our R. When I asked her what of the damage done to family ties, mainly her father, she says she will handle him and doesn't care what he thinks.

We shared some very remorseful tears and fessed up both our faults voluntarily in the MR breakdown with out faulting the other.

THIS folks, is IT! The real deal! Yes, I will keep a watchful eye for anything of suspicion and she knows it. She knows she has to re-establish trust from me and is commited to do what it takes. Thus, the action will speak louder than those words, but for the time being everything looks in order and there were no surprises on the table (other than her willingness to oust a few 'friends' who were detrimental to the survival of our M.

I don't know if it's cause I'm cold, tired, or just plain overjoyed, but I can not stop shaking.

The odd but refreshing part is while she was getting ready to go out (and in a very good mood about it), she says S11 asked her why she was so happy looking and where was she going. She didn't want to say, but him being my boy read her and "excitedly asked, 'are you going out with dad tonight?" she says she tried to not give a specific answer but he kept insisting so she told him 'yes' and she says he lit up like a christmas tree.

So that is my 27 hour day in a nutshell thus far. God I hope I make through today, I have to cover for a absent co-worker, leave early and take S11 for his physical, then fly back to work for my christmas dinner party. It's going to be a loooooong day. But it was all worth it, time flew by so quickly, we couldn't believe it when we looked thrughout the ever emptying club and they were shutting down

Please, please, do not kill this for me. Yes, I know there are risks, and I told her, my defenses are on high and on the watch for anything because of the hurt that has been caused and I will not go through it again. That said, I really think we are going places with this!