I have moved on. There is only one person that truly knows what is going on in my life. FaithfulH doesn't and neither does anyone else. The one guy that does, only does because I trust him and he is in a difficult situation himself and ready to throw his wife to the curve.
We know each others situatuions very well and he is very worried about his sitch getting out. But he trusts me and I trust him. It gets hard lately trying to feel like I am living a double life because I want my wife back, but I am no longer sitting around and waiting for her.
But I really am done. If she comes back at this point, she would have to prove to me that she was worth taking back. With the guys that she has slept with and the image she has tried so hard to obtain, it would take a miracle.
25, I prayed and begged God for a full year for this. I fasted and prayed like crazy. I made sure that I went and stopped by a church on the way home from work to make sure I was in the Presence when I prayed. I would go days without eating to prove to God how much I wanted this.
But I just don't care anymore. I do, but not to where I let it rule me anymore. I want it, but I am not waiting for it anymore.
I never thought I would reach this point, but I have. And the funny thing is, I would never have guessed in a million years that my MIL would change so quickly like this when I least expected it. I have always viewed her as the main obstacle standing in the way of me and my W getting back together. That is how much she has tried to wild her power.
But somehow whether it be selfish or not, my MIL's hardness has been shaken miraculously. So I guess anything is possible as I never thought I would see the day that happened.
If W comes back, great. If she doesn't, oh well. I am done praying and fasting for our marriage. It is so draining to do everything you can think of day in and day out and see no results.
Kevin
Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:7
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
