After a full year of DB'ing H purchased his plane ticket and is leaving for Canada Dec. 9th. H is in the process of telling family, getting financials in order and has been in a hurry up mode for us to get our divorce papers all signed and in the works before he goes.

I've done much crying; and yes, some in front of H but I've done no begging or pleading and am trying to hold myself together and try to be casual and just let him know I am sorry he feels this way. This whole process has been going on for some time and I've used telephone coaching, this forum and some reading. It hurts! It hurts! It hurts!

I've been GAL'ing, Detaching and maybe on some days am accepting of this because H won't agree to any counseling together, etc. There was no way living, working and being together was going to change at this point and H felt he had gone too far with his planning and he felt (using my words) this was a journey he needed to take. At some level I agree, I just wish it was not so far away --- it feels so permanent. I will move on and honestly I have been looking forward after a good year and a half to have some time to myself and just let down - to not have to walk on egg shells for a bit will be good.

It appears as though I will be taking H to the airport and take the rest of the day off of work. What do I say to him??? As the two weeks have been passing there have been good days and bad. I had hope a couple of times that H would not be able to go through with this but each time he starts to tell family, make his arrangements I know he is not going to turn back.

Besides telling him I hope he finds what he is looking for and that I will always love him I absolutely have no idea what is appropriate to say at this time without being a doormat on the way out.

We don't have kids and he is leaving quite a bit of his things here and expects to come back in the spring with a truck to load the rest...so he is leaving things behind and I also do not fully understand if that means something as he has had months to pack and done next to nothing.

I am very confused and any advice on what others have said or done at this phase of roller coaster ride is greatly appreciated. I have toyed around with going dark because I am afraid he is going to keep communicating and I don't know if I can handle those calls/e-mails or even if they are appropriate?

Thanks,
Michele

M 42
H 41
Together 23 yrs.
Married 16 yrs.
1 blind, fluffy cat
MLC sux