ok, P17, I think I get it. NC is to help the BS detach, heal and prepare for either outcome. I don't see it as allowing me to move on with my life entirely because NC is still limbo!
NC isn't limbo. Again this is just from what I see of it.
In fact NC is the opposite of limbo. Limbo is living at standstill waiting for the WAS to make a decision. NC allows you to get time for YOU and for you to heal, prepare and GAL. It allows you to do that in isolation of the WAS so that you get the time to heal without interruption.
My case, in my opinion, is the classic explanation of this for me.
W came over once a week or so to see D. I had a bad day before she came around (sometimes 2), the day she came around was bad, the day after, then I had a couple of good days in between and then back to bad again. I got 1-2 days per week to heal and 5 days of pain. You can't heal like that. I needed to heal in isolation of WAS so I had 2 good days, then 3, then 4 until I got to have mainly good days. My situation was living in limbo (nothing changing).
Me 36, W 34 | D 8 | M 3.5y Sep 2Aug09 | Left 6Sep09 | OM in 10Oct09 | NC 17Nov09 | Gave up caring - Jan 2010
"Have integrity. Do what is right, not what is expedient." "Delay is the antidote for anger"
