Separated, new baby, but still hopeful

[P17]

I know that NC is supposed to for me but it doesn't make sense for me to use it unless I want him back. Otherwise, why should BSs do NC?

It does. What NC does, at I'm at the very early stages, is allow us to move on with our lives. It allows us to get to the place where we can make proper decisions about our future without emotion or worrying about the WAS. NC is for US as it allows US to be US.

I think NC is this - I am going on a journey just now to heal, grieve and become the best person I can be. At some stage the WAS has to come to me and say one of two things - either let's try again or let's end it. When they do I will be prepared for either and will be able to respond properly and without falling apart. I will be able to do that as my journey will have allowed me to detach.

They should just divorce if all they want is to heal and move on!See what I mean?

If you have read anything about divorce you know that is a huge step to take where nobody wins. I am not ready for a D yet. Not because I don't want to move on but because emotionally I am not prepared yet. NC will allow me to prepare for that.

NC is also a test like you (P17) have been saying. It tests our WSs to see if they can live without us and it tests us to see if we could handle the reality of divorce if they give it to us.

It does, but that is not the purpose of it. That is a side-effect.