It's too hard sometimes

[ClingingToHope]

I'm not sure what advice to give you. I've been checking up on my W to see if there is someone else. She googled a long-lost boyfriend a couple of months ago. She went to the county fair with some guy who is friends with her best friend. Not sure if it was with a group or just them. And there's this other old classmate who has sent her some ingratiating emails -- the kind you'd send if you were trying to get to know someone better.

I asked once -- back in August -- if there was someone else. She said then "what does it matter. I haven't changed my mind" about divorce.

She called the next day to say that there was no one else.

I guess if I were you, I'd want to know if she's seeing someone else. Whether or not she's gone all the way? I don't want to hear that from her mouth. The fact your W is willing to say that to you is probably her just trying to dish out more pain.

As far as entertaining other interests personally. Lots of people will tell you not to if you really want to get back together.

I've had others tell me there WAS didn't really start to reconsider things until they realized they might lose you to someone else.

Personally, I've gone out in groups with a lady I would be interested in if I had a final decision from W. The possible other lady asked point blank if I was done with my W and I said no.

That was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and a lot of my weekends for the next couple of months are filled with a second job so there's really no chance for me to pursue anything right now anyway.

I consider that a blessing because part of me feels like I should be more patient on my W. There are some small signs that her fog may be lifting -- very small.

In your case, she's pretty out there about wanting someone else and that would just tear me up. At least my W was being discreet. In your case, if you find someone, why not.