Quick help needed. I'm at work & only have a second. H just sent me this text, "Why did u throw the rest of my $hit in the car?" How do I reply?
When you reply, just tell him exactly that: you were cleaning up the garage, you saw a pile of his stuff that he left behind, and you put it in his car.
If he has a problem with that, it's his problem.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I cleaned the garage and needed them out of my way.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Hey Courts, I haven't really followed your sitch, but read yesterdays comments, and you and i are in the same boat. I too am unsure of how to act while H is home. My H just moved home 4 days ago, and is in the spare room. I don't have any advice just wanted to let you know, I will be following your sitch to see if you get any great advice as I feel I feel the same way you do right now!
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
Thank you. I am always way too wordy in my responses. I texted what you suggested and haven't heard back.
Britt, I'll try to check our your sitch - at least to offer support. : )
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
Perhaps a good detatched response would be. "It's December, you may want a jacket." Doesn't leave him anywhere to go if he wants to pick a fight does it.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
That's funny. I'm too wordy too, then after I send it I over analyze it to death. Well I used to anyways, I've gotten over that stage. Brief, direct and short I find always hits em where it hurts. My H really reacts to that...in a good way.
M: 31 H: 29 Married: 6 yrs Children : 7yr old, 5yr old, 2yr old
Separated: Sept. '09 Moved Back In for wrong reasons: Nov. 30, 09 Recomitted to our Marriage: Jan. 25, 10 Threatening to leave again: July,14
1. This forum and the advice/support we give each other - it's an awesome opportunity to learn and grow and to find ppl that truly understand and will do everything they can to help save marriages and self-respect/esteem. 2. My DD's silly personality and that fact she makes me laugh every single day. 3. That I'm in a much better emotional state then I was just 9 days ago (thank you, God).
I had a pretty good day today. The text from H asking why I put his stuff in the car kinda threw me, but I took the time to pop on here and ask for guidance. I gave a short, honest, and direct response that didn't lead to a fight or create any drama.
It's been 8 pretty consistent days for me and it feels great. I don't think I've contacted him for anything. I have replied to the few texts he's sent me, but I've waited a few hrs before doing so. I have some plans this weekend and will be asking him to watch DD. We'll see how that goes. And tomorrow I will post a draft of what I want to say to him about money for Christmas.
I need to work on showing him the chipper side of myself - being more carefree like I was in the beginning (continuing to not be concerned with what he's doing - I have gotten so much better at this), improving my communication/interactions with him, letting go of some things - like not commenting on how he takes care of DD. I admit, I'm a bit of a control freak so imagine what it's been like to lose a lot of control. Eek!
Once I get a better grasp on those things (like I have with not contacting), I'm gonna rock the boat (in a Godly, self-respecting way). I know it probably sounds dumb as to why I'm holding off, but I have to be fully ready to commit. Once I start ths process, there's no turning back. It's kind of like a personal thing - gotta get all my ducks in a row and be confident in every area of my DB efforts. IDK if that makes sense to anyone else.
Gonna keep on reading and learning and then I'll be more prepared to apply boundaries and consequences to my own situation and maybe finally find the dreaded info that exists - R with OW?
Wow...it's only taken me nearly 17 months (that's when the initial "I'm not happy" bomb was dropped) to get some control of my emotions and reactions.
I'm still working on me, but the work is slowly making a difference. : ) I matter. My happiness matters.
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
Once I get a better grasp on those things<SNIP>I'm gonna rock the boat<SNIP> I have to be fully ready to commit. Once I start ths process, there's no turning back. <SNIP> gotta get all my ducks in a row and be confident in every area. <SNIP> Gonna keep on reading and learning and then I'll be more prepared to apply boundaries and consequences to my own situation
