As long as the fear of him leaving by having a talk with him paralyzes you from getting some backbone and taking charge of YOUR life, then you will continue to get what you are getting. (which I believe at some point if you do nothing, also means that you are getting what you deserve)
He who values himself may have fear, but knows it is better to be alone than to be in an unhappy relationship that doesn't have mutual giving... That person is willing to risk the chance of having the other person walk back out for the sake of their self esteem, self respect etc....... Matter of fact, that type of person ASKS the person to leave that doesn't show and act as if they want to be there. That is why the talk is necessary in your case. It isn't to get him to stay with you ,but to find out why he IS there, and if not for the correct reasons, to decide what YOU will do about it.
Your choice. I know I would never accept anything but my own wife being here because she chooses to totally out of choice. Love works best when freely given.
He either can tell you he wants to be there or doesn't want to be there because of you AND the children. If you accept anything less than allowing a man to be with you because he loves you and chooses you, then IMHO you are compromising your own self as a woman.
