Coping with Bi-Polar WAW

[CountingCrows]

Spoke with atty this morning. They agreed that since I was still paying for more than my share of the family's needs and obligations, I was not in the wrong to cut W off of additional financial assistance, or in asking her to take over the truck/insurance payments. She suggested that I have the truck loan changed to her name, if possible, and not depend on her to make the payment directly. Atty advised me to document the agreement, which I had already done last night.

As far as using MC refusal for strategic purposes, atty said that since we live in a "no-fault" state, it really wouldn't really matter, but encouraged it if W decided to drop OM and try to make M work. Atty said that our state forces parents to attend parenting/counseling classes together as part of a D proceeding, but that it's not necessarily geared towards reconciliation.

This morning, W complained about being so lonely, really missing S7, and how she would normally talk to me about these type problems, but couldn't because of the situation. I just acknowledged what she was saying and bit my tongue when I wanted to ask where OM's support was during this. She asked if I had heard from any of her family, as no one would return her calls. I told her that I hadn't talked to anyone in her family. She mentioned that at least I had supportive parents to lean on during all of this. I nodded in agreement. She followed this up with a "I'm not trying to get you feel sorry for me...just talking."

W went on to say that coming over and seeing me make such progress on the house, appearing happy, working on projects and having the house all decorated for Christmas made her feel like we were done with her and just moving on without her. I told her that I was sorry she felt that way, but that S7 and I WERE moving on with our lives. We couldn't put them on hold...that we were going to be O.K. regardless of her decisions.

I should have walked out right then and went to work. Instead, I told her that she should re-read the letter I gave her several weeks back. She said she assumed that my feelings had changed drastically since then. I said that, with the exception of the financial support part, everything else that I had said in the letter still stands true.

Feeling that I was on the edge of R talk, I handed a copy of the financial cutoff advance notice letter to W and said that it was just a written version of what we had discussed yesterday. Told her she didn't have to read it now, but she opened it and read through it. She remained calm and didn't have any questions. I finally took the opportunity to cut the visit short and headed to work. Told her to have a good day, hugged my son and left.

I know I shouldn't have mentioned the letter...but it just came out before I realized it, so I just diverted things away and left.